It's been awhile since I posted anything on my blog. I have been thinking about what I could say. I feel a great deal of sadness in my heart with the recent events of the past few days. One of my comedy heroes has passed away. The great Robin Williams is no longer with us. I feel a sense of loss. His comedy and his films have had a huge impact on my life. From bringing me joy and laughter to tears. I don't know what to think or feel. It's interesting how people can impact your life without even meeting them, or knowing them on a personal level. I hope that the pain that he felt is now gone, and I hope that he feels at peace. When you commit suicide you are really in a hopeless place. I think upon my own life  and the challenges I face with my clinical depression bi-polar disorder. I hope that I never come to a place in my life where it's so dark that I can't see my way out and the only option is taking my life. Thankfully I am blessed with an amazing support system of family and friends. I also have an amazing Doctor that has found the right combination of medication that keeps my bi-polar in check. I'm not saying that I don't have rough times, or that dark times don't cross my path. I just feel in my heart that I am a truly blessed individual that has been given a unique set of challenges. These challenges make me who I am and I wouldn't change a thing. I feel sadness for Robin's family and friends. He gave so much joy to the world he truly will be missed. I'll miss his laugh and his ability to make me laugh.

November 23, 2012 my Grandma Gold left this realm and returned to heaven to be reunited with my Grandpa. She lived to be 93. She was afflicted with pancreatic cancer. I am so grateful for the time that I was afforded to spend with her. She is kind, loving, and one of the most Christ like people that I have known. I miss her very much. I am grateful that she no longer has to suffer from the cancer. It was very difficult  to see her diminish from being very active to being confined to her bed. I am truly blessed to have had her in my life. I know that even though it is difficult to not have her around, I know she is in a better place. No longer will she have to suffer the pain of her cancer. I really miss her a lot. I spent a considerable amount of time with her since she was diagnosed with the cancer. It will be difficult to fill that time with something else that is as rewarding as spending time with her. I'll miss the kisses on the cheek that she gave to me before I left for home. I'll miss her always saying "Be careful as you drive home". She truly is an inspiration to me. She lived her life to the fullest. I love you Grandma. Thanks for always being there for me. You

I helped her choose his headstone in '04 it's hard to say goodbye, but I know that he will meet her again. Grandma is 92 years old she has had two close calls that were too close for her comfort and mine.

 I found a letter that she wrote me while I was living in London England going to school. 

It was really sweet and I thought I would share a few things from it with friends and family. May 28, 2000 

"Dear Matthew, A beautiful warm sunny peaceful Sunday. It is now about 6:30 pm and I'm thinking you are sleeping as it is early Monday morning. It is hard to believe just three days ago Utah was was having some wild weather. there was strong winds, rain, hail and even a tornado touch down in SLC. There was wind and water damage but no injuries."  She ends the letter "Study hard. Gain as much as you can. We love you. Grandpa & Grandpa Gold" Included in the envelope $20 "for something you may like". My Grandparents have given me so many opportunities. They have taught me the value of money and how to use it wisely. As Grandpa always said to me you only buy things that you have actual money in hand to buy. Such great advice from him. In this difficult economy so many of my friends and family members are struggling because they didn't save for a rainy day or years as the case may be. I am forever blessed by Grandpa by teaching me that lesson. He was the first person that I borrowed money from because I wanted a ghetto blaster. He gave me the loan and I paid the debt. Grandpa is a man who deals in handshakes and his word is his bond. I wish that more people were honest in their dealings. It would make the world go round at a reasonable pace rather than it's current pace of wheels and deals that hurt so many people. The power of one is real. One persons actions can have an impact that can change the course of history. My personal history is impacted by my Grandparents and I know that they have impacted thousands of peoples lives. I don't know what I spent that $20 on while in London, but my hope is that I shared it with my friends. Because at the end of the day you can't take it with you. I am so thankful that I have Grandparents that would care enough to send me a little letter to London with $20. Almost 11 years have past since I was walking in smoggy London. This is one of my favorite memories of London receiving a letter from Bountiful from my Grandma. It brightened my day then and it does now. It's truly a treasure to me. I love you Grandma. Grandpa I know you watch over our family and especially your sweet wife.

Good Morning World the Earth says HELLO

Long day. Time for beddy bye. I am really happy right now. I think my Grandma is on the tail end of her journey. She is a fighter, but I think that it's time for her to reunite with my Grandpa. It's been seven years this spring since he died. I know that he is nearby waiting for her sweet embrace. She has lived 92 years. She is so little now. Not like great Grandma Gold, but if needed I could gently place her on my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I have really enjoyed spending time with her these past seven years since my Grandpa died. She is a strong, kind woman who has taught me the value of a good education. Also the importance of service to my fellow beings. It's hard seeing someone you love start to slow down. I hope that she makes it through the winter into spring, but if it's God's will for her to go I cannot argue with Him. I hope that when she passes. That it might be in the night like her father before her. It will be a touching reunion when it happens, but for now I will enjoy the visits and her sweet kisses that she always gives me as we say goodbye. I love you Grandma sleep tight.

1/11/11

Was a day to remember. Why you ask? Well I'll tell you. Today was a day filled joy and wonderment. The sun was shining and it was cold as the freezer. It's been a while since the UC has had such a cold front. The previous night I had enjoyed the championship game at Iggy's with my friend Dave. He is one of the best Y fans that I know. The game was great. I wish the Ducks could have pulled it out in the end, but the lack of creativity by the OC was frustrating. It reminded me of the tail end of of Ludwig's career at Utah. I had the Jack Daniels BBQ meatloaf and it was great. I couldn't resist the cheesecake. Every since I lived in London where I had the best cheesecake. I like to try cheesecake everywhere I go now. As a kid I couldn't stand the bitterness, but now as I have matured I really have enjoyed that end of the spectrum of tastes. Unfortunately for me I had an allergic reaction. I think my body has a negative reaction to some tree nuts. I never had a problem when I was a kid, but I never wanted to eat them. I'm grateful that I don't have a peanut allergy. Because I don't know how I would survive without my PB & J. I was unable to sleep, I didn't have any allergy medicine on me. Thankfully I rested this early morning of 11111 which in binary code is a glitch, for you nerds out there I could be wrong. Dave and I went to the game up on the Hill. I haven't been in the Huntsman Center since my sisters commencement. The game was fun for the first half. The Utes were playing well. Second half was Jimmer time. That kid can ball. As bummed as I was about Utah losing the game, it was great to witness that performance by a great athlete. After the game we went to Crown Burger. If you haven't experienced the Crown Burger at Crown Burger then you're missing out. It's a meal in itself. If you love pastrami then try it out. If you're in SLC go to the one that is closer to the U of U campus. It's better than the one on State Street near Century 16 theaters. My favorite Crown Burger is the one on Highland Drive that's near the SLC county Sheriff substation. After we finished eating we had a good chat about life on the way back to the UC. I feel really blessed to have good friends. Dave is a good friend. Salt of the earth type of guy. Tomorrow is going to be legendary...I think.

I'm an APPLE

I broke down and bought iPad. I got it last year, but I was waiting till the new year to bust it out. I like it. The keyboard is definitely different. When I first got my iPhone I thought I wouldn't be able to adjust from my days of the old tiny Nokia block phones. Now I wouldn't ever want to go back to the 90's or early 00's style phones. The ATT data pkg pricing is lame. They should do group pricing if you have an iPhone or have an unlimited data pkg for $50 bucks or less. I don't think I'll blog with it unless I get a wireless keyboard. This post was brought to you by the pad. Good night and have pleasant tomorrow.

2011's Mohawk I did it all by myself@1:30am on 1/5/11